India tour of Australia: Tongue, cheek and Mahendra Singh Dhoni

Two of your senior lieutenants in the team have allegedly had a public spat. They’ve been at each other’s throats. One has accused the other of being a wimp. There’s ‘unrest’ in the camp. There’s apparent mutiny. The leadership has come under question. “How could a captain with such experience let a situation escalate to such an extent?” they all want to know.
Most leaders would have gone into their shell. Some would have come out with all guns blazing. A few might even have avoided facing the media glare. Almost all would have sulked. MS Dhoni chose to indulge in satire. It was almost as if he was waiting to be given a platform to show off his wholesome wit.
It was inevitable that he would be asked about the reported face-off between Virat Kohli and Shikhar Dhawan before the fourth day’s play at the Gabba. Even Dhoni would have known that. But he was ready, as always.
“Yeah actually that was the case. Virat used a knife and he stabbed Shikhar. When he recovered out of that we pushed him out to bat,” he said with a smirk. He was joking of course. But to his credit, he kept on the kind of poker-face that would do many a stand-up comedian proud. Dhoni wasn’t done of course.
“These are all stories Marvel-Warner Bros should pick them up and make a movie out of it. I don’t know where it comes from. Someone from the team has actually told you this it will be interesting if you give us the name of the individual who said this, because his imagination is really brilliant and he should be working for Warner-Bros movie company,” Dhoni added. He then plainly declared, though still in a jovial tone, “He doesn’t deserve to be in our dressing room because he has created something that hasn’t been there at all.”
You could imagine the last part sending a chill up the spine of whoever the player was Dhoni was referring to. For, there has always existed an Omerta code in Dhoni’s team, where loyalty to the authority is of utmost importance.