James Bond ‘would be impotent’ due to booze

LONDON – Drinking four times the recommended amount of alcohol would not make 007 such a hit with the ladies in real life, research finds.

Researchers have looked at James Bond’s love for dry martinis, shaken and not stirred, and found that his weekly alcohol limit while serving his country would put him at risk of liver disease and impotence.

Bond’s average alcohol consumption was 92 units per week which researchers now say may explain why he prefers his martinis “shaken, not stirred”.

The British Medical Journal has published a study that has found that if guns failed to kill Bond, alcohol would have led to his early death due to cirrhosis and alcohol-induced tremors.

Researchers conclude that Bond was unlikely to be able to stir his drinks, even if he would have wanted to, and suspect that the spy’s famous catchphrase “shaken, not stirred” may well be due to alcohol-induced tremor affecting his hands.

Excess alcohol consumption is a global health problem with 2.5 million deaths every year attributable to its use.

In the entertainment world, however, it is often portrayed in a positive, even glamorous, light.

The spy is renowned for enjoying cigarettes, alcohol, and women and is admired for his performance under pressure.

While reading the original James Bond books, Dr Patrick Davies and colleagues were struck that his alcohol consumption seemed rather high, and they wondered whether he would realistically have the capacity to perform (in all aspects of life) at his high level of alcohol intake.

So they decided to measure Bond’s alcohol consumption, as detailed in the novels by Ian Fleming, and the potential health effects of this.

Two of the authors read all 14 James Bond books over a period of six months. Contemporaneous notes were taken detailing every alcoholic drink taken, and pre-defined alcohol unit levels were used to calculate consumption.

Where there was no specific mention of which drinks were consumed, the authors made conservative estimates.

Days when James Bond was unable to drink (such as through incarceration) were also noted.

Excluding days when Bond was unable to drink, his average alcohol consumption was 92 units per week, over four times the recommended amount.

“The level of functioning as displayed in the books is inconsistent with the physical, mental, and indeed sexual functioning expected from someone drinking this much alcohol,” they write.